Only In The BX: The Potato

I work in a Bronx County Emergency Department, in Tha Bronx, NY. Aside from the usual gun shots, stab wounds, & sniffles, we also see some weird shit you only find in the BX. Some shit that simply should not be going down. All stories in this series are true to the best of my knowledge, confirmed either by me first-hand or by reliable sources.


Only In The BX: The Potato

As a doctor in the ED, you usually take a glance at the chart before seeing a non-trauma patient. This chart comes prepared by the triage nurse, & contains the patient's chief complaint, meds, and some vital signs.


The chief complaint on this particular chart read: "I have leaves down there."

The resident was puzzled, but went to see the patient. He did the physical exam, & the patient wasn't lying, she had leaves and a small branch sticking out of her vagina. He pulled on it but felt too much resistance. Not knowing what to do or say, he moved on to the pelvic exam with a speculum, opened her up, and saw a potato sitting in the back of the vagina, near the uterus.

Some background: As women age, the ligaments holding up the uterus can become lax and the uterus can hang down or "prolapse" out of the vagina. Some women use a medical device called a pessary, which is inserted up the vagina and physically holds the uterus in place.

Apparently, this Bronxite had found a potato that was the right size and stuck it up her vagina to use as a pessary. The vagina, however, is a warm, moist environment, and the potato had sprouted stems and leaves. No joke.

The kicker? When the resident finally said "Um, ma'am, do you realize you have a potato in your vagina?", her response was "I know about the damn potato! What about these leaves??". She was very insistent about keeping the potato in, so the resident just did what he could to make her happy...he trimmed the leaves and sent her on her way.